Wise Men Still Seek Him

It's Christmas! I love Christmas. There is a magic in the air. My whole life I have been trying to put a finger exactly on what that magic is. It seems to be so many things wrapped up in one so I can never quite explain it very well. It's the lights, the music, the love, the excitement, the giving, the sharing and so on and so on.....
We went to church today and Brother Fuller talked. He hit it right on the head for me and I had one of those epiphany moments. "This is the magic of Christmas: that Jesus Christ was born and that He lives today."
It all flooded over me and I cried. This is what we live for, whether we know it or not. And me, in my totally imperfect state, am so THANKFUL for that babe that was born who was willing to pick up the slack for me and all of us. I can only pray that I am a good representative of what He means to me.

"Each of us is an innkeeper who decides if there is room for Jesus." -Neal A. Maxwell

Make Poverty History

There are an estimated 3 million people in the U.S. every year that go homeless. About 40% of those people are employed. The really scary thing is that 1.35 million of them are children. It is said that the average american is one paycheck away from becoming homeless. I complain that I am too hot, so I turn down my heater. Then I complain that I am too cold so I put on a sweater while I am turning my heater up again. I complain that I have 20 pounds to lose because I have so much food to eat all the time. I complain that I don't sleep well on my nice cushy bed in my big house with all of my family close around me. It's insane how much people suffer. What's more insane is that I don't always help when I know I could be. I am going to make this year the one to reach out more and to do my part no matter how small it might be. We are all God's children and so we are connected. How can we look the other way when it is our brother or our sister who is suffering?

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Apron

I think I have posted before about my 3 friends. They are my dearest friends in all the world. They impact my life every day. You know I recently moved up here to Eden. It is about 45 minutes away from Clinton. Has that stopped me from driving there every chance I get to see my sisters? Heck no! The gas and time are well worth the fun and the bond that I share with these people. Krista moved to St. George last Friday. It was so hard for me to know that she is that far away. I am so glad that I have a house there so I can see her whenever I am there.
We friends wanted something to connect us continually since we are all separated by distance. We all have a passion for cooking great food. Or should I say, a passion for EATING good food. The cooking part of it is just a perk. We came up with the idea to have a traveling apron. We found the cutest, girlie, frilly, red, pink, and purple apron. It is beyond cute. We took it to Krista the day before she left and gave it to her. In a month, she will send it to one of us who will then keep it for a month and pass it to the next person. And so on. It just goes on and on. I am really excited to do this.
So here's to good friends, good food and cute aprons. I know these things don't happen for a lot of people. I am really grateful that they have for me.

No Longer Homeless

We are finally here! We moved into our new home the Friday before Thanksgiving. It seems like it has been so long. Actually it has; it took a year and a half. It really seemed like we would never be here. But it was worth the wait. It turned out so great and it just feels like, well, home. We have had much fun already climbing the rock wall plus we hosted Thanksgiving for the Walker side of the family. We had so much help getting here. I just want to give thanks for ALL of the many things I have been blessed with. When I think of it all, I lose count. I am truly, truly blessed.

The Way To A Boy's Heart......

A couple of days ago, Tyson was sitting at the bar eating something I had fixed him for dinner. After having his 3rd helping, he said, "Mom, promise me that you are going to teach my wife someday to cook." That is the best compliment I could ever get! Now the only problem is finding a girl that's EVER going to be good enough to marry my son.

It's All Coming Together Now

House update: It looks freaking amazing! Here is a list of what has been completed or is in the process of being completed as we speak: our acid stain floors are done. They look beautiful. Our painting, including the faux, is done. The tile is being laid right now and our cabinets are going in right now. It is so exciting. I think that all the colors and stain, etc. etc. look really good. That is always a worrisome part, waiting to see if everything flows nicely. I can't post pictures yet, it's a surprise you know. You will just have to come and visit to see the finished product.

Snow-crusted Mountains

It is officially fall in the Valley! Amongst the beautiful, changed leaves, lies snow. We had a big storm through the night and today. I freaking love snow. I love how it looks and feels. I love the frigid chill it brings. I love to swoosh down the mountainside on a board and watch it fly out from around me. I even like to shovel it. It just makes me happy.
To catch up a bit: our house is almost done! Hooray! Cabinets are going in on Monday and my tile guy starts on Wednesday. It looks so amazing. Everytime I go there, I just feel, well, at home. I feel so lucky to be here!
We are all doing well. Life is clipping along way too fast, as usual. Marcus, my cousin, got his endowments out this last Thursday. He is leaving in November for his mission. He is going to Melbourne, Austrailia. It was good to be there for him. He is such a good guy. I am really enjoying living next to Steff and Randy. Steff is always taking care of us. Nothing like mom of course, but she does a good job.
We had a big pumpkin painting party at Grandma and Grandpa Walker's last night. It was fun to get together and see everyone. We all had a good time.
Life is grand!

We Thank Thee O God For A Prophet

It is conference weekend for the LDS church. It is a wonderful time for us, as saints, to listen to the word of God through our amazing prophet and quorum of the 12. I am so edified and inspired by these amazing men of God.
One of the speakers in the afternoon was Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. He is always an awesome speaker. He is getting on in years and today I was thinking he looked pretty frail. About halfway through his talk, his whole frame began to shake and I was sure he was going to collapse. It only took a few seconds and Elder Russell M. Nelson was behind him and at his side, supporting him through his talk. I cried the rest of the time. Because I am sure that Elder Wirthlin's time on this earth is not as long as I want it to be. Because I can only imagine the brotherhood that these great men (the 12) share. Because I am so thankful that the Lord has seen fit to give us these men that guide and direct us in His behalf. Because the spirit lives in my heart.
I was born a "mormon." I am a Latter Day Saint, by choice.

The Next Chapter

We are all moved out of the Clinton house. It no longer belongs to us. Funny, as soon as all of our stuff was out of it, the sadness of moving was gone too. Which made me realize, I am taking everything that's important with me. (i.e. my 4 wild and crazy boys!)
I am grateful for my experiences in Clinton. I really grew a lot in that phase of my life. I will never forget that place or the people.

A few things I have learned in the last 4 years:

*I like who I am. It's okay to be me. I think other people like me too.
*You get what you give.
*Be the change that you want to see.
*Everyone has something to offer. You learn from everyone, even people you don't like.
*I like to be happy.
*Life isn't always easy but it sure is good.
*The Lord puts you in every situation for you to learn and grow into what He intends you to be.

I am very excited to see what the future holds. As long as I have my boys, I can do it. And I really like the fact that I get to help write the rest of the story.

Edward and Bella

I just read 3 of the best books I have ever read. My sister Shelley got me hooked on these and I can never turn back!
Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer. I was a little turned off by the description on the back jacket and I didn't think I was going to read the first one but my sis convinced me to and I am so glad she did! I highly recommend these to any one. (side note: you WILL fall madly in love with Edward.)
I just don't know if I can wait til next year when the next one comes out.

Update

How boring is that title? I couldn't think of anything creative. Life has been such a whirlwind lately. There is so much going on. Ross was the grand champion of Water Wars. (was there ever a question?!? he is my husband after all) The boys started school in the valley this last Wednesday. I have been getting up at 5:30 AM to be ready to take them up there every day until we move. It's a 45 minute drive. There are a whole bunch of kids in our neighborhood that the boys have quickly become friends with. They are having a riot riding the bus. They have never had the opportunity to do this until now. So far they really like school too.
Today was our last Sunday in our ward in Clinton. It was hard for me. But it's ok. I know I will see these people again someday. We are moving in 9 days. Not into our house, mind you. Argh! It's not done yet. We will be moving into my uncle's appartment until it's done. Hopefully that is only about a month. I don't think I can handle it much longer than that.
But life is good! As always.

Clarkston, UT

On Thursday night, Ross and I went to the Martin Harris pageant with his brother Ryan and his wife Amy. I have never had the pleasure of going to Clarkston, UT before. It was a pretty long drive but the scenery was breath-taking.
I have studied Martin Harris a little bit. Enough to know that, despite his faults, he was a great man. Very inspired. The pageant was ok, a little cheesy. It is always a good thing though, to be sitting somewhere random in the world, and have that little voice in your heart reaffirming what you already know to be true. It's those little reassurances that help your testimony to grow so much, to know that God lives and that Joseph Smith restored the gospel.
I am so lucky to be one of those that knows.

3 weeks and counting

We have about three more weeks in this house until we are moving. I have so many mixed emotions.
This place has been home to us for over 4 years. It doesn't sound like a long time but by now, we have so many friends and I feel like I know a lot of the stake and a lot of the community. It is going to be very hard to leave here.
It would be better if we were moving into our new house right away, but alas, it is not yet finished. We will be living in an apartment for about a month.
The boys are all registered at their new school, Valley Elementary. That is where i spent my precious childhood years. For 2nd grade Corbin even got my 2nd grade teacher. Crazy. Feels so weird to be going back as the parent!
Here's to 2617 in Clinton. It will stay with me forever.

Water Water Everywhere But Not A Drop To Drink

Water Wars officially begins tonight at 9 p.m. I am really excited to be in charge of it this year. I think it is going to be way fun to be a part of everyone's experience. I will let you know how Ross does.

The World Was Never The Same

34 years ago today, the world experienced one of the greatest of all events. No one was quite prepared for the roller coaster ride that would come to be known as Ross John Walker. When I say roller coaster, this is what I mean: knowing Ross is one heck of a ride. He takes you to the very top when you think things can't get any better and then he rushes you quickly down the hill so you can find the next best thing. And miraculously, it just keeps getting better and better! There are no dull moments when you are the wife, son, friend, brother, sister, etc. of this amazing man. He inspires me, lifts me up, makes me laugh til I cry and leaves me wanting more. I am so thankful that he chose me to be his wife.
Happy Birthday Ross!

Mohawk Lake

This past weekend, Ross and I went backpacking with my sister Shelley and her husband Dan. Dan's brother Nate, and his wife, Jana, also came along. I LOVE to hike but this was my first backpacking trip. It was a 5 mile hike in to our camp. This is not an easy trail people. It wouldn't be easy to hike while not carrying anything, let alone toting 35 pounds along! The hike was well worth it though. The area was so beautiful and our camping area was pretty secluded from the rest of the world. It is so awesome to just sit in nature sometimes and behold all that God has created. It's very humbling for me.
It rained off and on but it was just the right temperature. Shelley's 2 dogs also came along. They are so fun. I love animals, especially dogs. They make me happy.
The boys stayed with Ryan and Amy for 1 day and then with Aunt LaRae for 2 days. Good times were had by all. The boys had a good break from mom and dad and mom and dad had a good break from the boys. We were all happy to be back together. I can't wait until the boys are big enough to go with us.
*side note* For anyone interested, Mountain House freeze dried meals are actually really tasty, easy meals that can be used for food storage. They are available at Wal-mart or Sportsman's Warehouse.

Angels Among Us

A few years ago, I attended a life training in Salt Lake City. One of the things that it taught me was about the many angels in my life. I had never before realized how many times I had been "saved" by someone else. The first person that I can remember being literally saved by is my husband, Ross. At the time that I met him, I was at a really hard place in my life. I was floundering a little bit, not really sure what direction I was supposed to go. There was always a part of me that had felt broken, so to speak, and I had just gotten used to it. I never realized it could be fixed. Needless to say, he very quickly began the first of many healing processes for me in my life. He has continued to be an angel through these many years.
I also have other angels. Some have swept into my life and then right back out again but lifted me to higher ground and taught me valuable life lessons. Some are people who probably have never realized the impact they have had on me. Some are members of my family.
There are 3 people in particular in my life that have changed it in the most profound way,as of late. They are 3 women that I have met while living here in Clinton, that I served with in the Young Women's program. Besides Ross, there are very few people who have ever made me feel so comfortable in my own skin. I have felt like it's ok to be me, in all my psychotic splendor. I have been inspired to be better than I am. They are such a good example to me and they are always there, even when I don't need them. They have become my sisters, in every sense of the word.
I am so thankful for all of the angels in my life. I hope that I can listen to the promptings of the spirit that will allow me to be the same for someone else.
"I believe there are angels among us, sent down to us from somewhere up above. They come to you and me, in our darkest hours, to show us how to live, to teach us how to give, to guide us with the light of love." -Alabama

Funk

I am in a funk. Do you ever get there? It's those moments when nothing makes you happy. You don't feel good about anything. Your appetite is gone and you just want to sleep instead of facing any responsibility. I don't know what my problem is lately. I have so many blessings it's insane and yet I just can't seem to wrap myself around them right now.
I'm at this weird place where I just don't seem to fit. We are going to be moving soon so people in my ward, as great as they are, are disconnecting themselves from me. I don't have a calling anymore so I kind of feel idle, which sucks to say the least. I also have this "friend" who at any given moment makes me feel like trash about myself. I have enough friends that I know love me so I can't figure out why I am letting this woman get to me.
Anyway, there's my giant pity party for the day. Moving on.

Happily Never After

The boys and I watched a movie last night called "Happily Never After". It is an animated kids movie. For the most part, kind of lame. But, (there's always a but, right?), it had a really good lesson at the end that got me thinking. In the movie, the balance between good and evil is tipped so that the evil side is prevailing and all of these classic fairy tale stories are not coming true the way they were written. There is a battle to restore order and balance is once again brought about. Here was the cool thing, the stories, although with happy endings, didn't turn out the way they were originally written.


It got me thinking about the stories that we write in our heads about our lives. We all have hopes and dreams and aspirations. Sometimes they come true, sometimes they don't. A lot of the time though, things turn out better or even just the same but we took a different route to get there. Does happiness have to look a certain way? Or can we find happiness despite our circumstances? I think so but really the decision is all up to you.


"Happiness is a journey, not a destination."

Widow For the 2nd Time

So Ross has left me for the second time. He is now at Youth Conference for 4 days. I have not quite recovered from the last time he left. I don't know what he is thinking!
We are going to have fun this week. We always do but when he is gone it has to be just a little bit more. Something has to cover up the fact that he is not here. The cruel irony though? He will get back and even though I will have worked my behind off trying to show the kids how cool I am and how much fun I can be, he will still be their favorite. Life just isn't fair sometimes.

The Deathly Hallows

Saturday, July 21st marked the end of an era. The 7th and final book in the Harry Potter series was released to the world to see how their hero faired against Lord Voldemort. There was much speculation about what would happen. It took me a couple of days to finish the book but I finally finished it last night. I have to say I was so sad to have it end! I laughed, I cried, I got mad, pretty much every emotion you could have, I had. I think that J.K. Rowling is brilliant. These books have captivated an entire world for so long. The Deathly Hallows was so well written. I can't imagine it being any different than it was. Long live Harry Potter! If only in our hearts.

Adversity

I have been thinking a lot this week about the trials that different people have to face in their lives. One of my favorite quotes is, "Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it." I truly believe that. I think that people really start to shine when their inner light is put to the test. We are all children of God. We are all born with the light of Christ. That being said, I don't think it is in our inner nature to roll over and die. There is something there that pushes us to be more, to be better.

Unfortunately, that does not make our life any easier sometimes. It just makes us push to find the end of the tunnel and hope with everything we have that there is something better at the other end. I believe there is. We find ourselves, who we are, what we can accomplish and just exactly who was standing by our side the whole time. Even though the journey can be long and painful and tiring, it is well worth it to find out who God intends us to be. Which just so happens to be the crowning glory of His creations.

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Let The Games Begin

Last summer was the first ever Clinton 26th Ward Water Wars. Which is like a week long, gigantic water fight. After a very grueling week of hiding/stalking/running for my life, I was the winner. Yes folks you read that right. I was nicked named (by a guy in my ward) the "Kellyanton Robber". I was flattered.

This year I am in charge of water wars. I get to help others find their inner Gadianton Robber. I relish in this task. (picture me rubbing my hands together while laughing wickedly) I think it will be one heck of a fun time.

The only way I can do this task is knowing that I was the first ever queen of water wars. I know that everyone else has probably forgotten but you can be sure that I will be quick to remind them.

Feel The Burn

Ok so after I ran the half marathon, my plan was to take about a week off and then resume my running. After all, I do love it. Well, 1 week turned into 2 months! I have felt like such a lazy bum. So I jumped on the treadmill last night and ran a 30 minute interval run. That feels so good and so bad. Good to be moving again. Bad because I can feel the jiggle as well as the burn! Oh well. I'm back.

HOORAY! Dad's Home

So we made it through the week and Ross arrived home safe and sound to find us all relatively unscathed. We had a pretty good week. We had a lot of fun at the carnival, swimming, movies and seeing the progress made on our house. We also did a lot of yard work and cleaning out the house in preparation to move. We got a whole lot done.

I was so happy to have Ross home though and I think the boys were too. It just isn't the same without him around.

Hell Week

So Ross is at scout camp this week. I am all alone with 3 boys. You would think that with me being their mother that this would not be a problem, however this is truly scary. And what's worse is they can smell fear. And they usually use it against me.

I have been pleasantly surprised. They have been so good so far (knock on wood). We have had a great week of having fun and getting things done. They have been really good to each other too. It's made me realize just how good I have it. I could not imagine how my life could get any better. I have a wonderful husband and 3 amazing kids.

Now if I could just get that darn husband home.

I don't even know what to title this post. Today I had such a great day. I got to hang out with Ross for a while and then I got to go do lunch with my 3 dearest friends in the whole world. And it's always good to pick your kids up from school and hear all about how everything went.
In other parts of the world, things are not always so great. I found out that a friend of mine lost her baby today. She was 5 1/2 months pregnant. Her water broke and she had to deliver her little girl that weighed 11 ounces and was 10 inches long. She lived for just over an hour. They named her Chloe. They have had such a hard time getting pregnant. They were so excited.
It just doesn't seem fair sometimes. It humbles me so much to think of her and then to look at the 3 amazing, healthy boys that I have. I am so grateful to be their mom. I hope that tonight I will hug them a little longer and that I will be a little slower to anger in the future.
Funny how a day, and a life, can go from being so good to not so good in just a heartbeat.

Is She Still Talking?!?

Yesterday was Sunday and even though we are not moving for another couple of months, the bishop asked Ross and I to speak. In the last 3 years, I have spoken 8 times. Yes folks, you read that right. 8 times. I can't possibly imagine that people want to hear from me that much!
It turned out to be a pretty good talk I think. At least that is what everyone told me. I am so thankful that I got to be a part of the 26th ward. I remember that I was so nervous when our ward split. I didn't think I would love a ward like I did the 18th. I have been awed and amazed by the stellar people that I have gotten to know and love this last year. I hope they realize how lucky they are to have a ward so great.
In short, life goes on. People come, people go. But the 26th ward will always hold a special place in my heart.

The Wall

So Saturday, the 19th, was the half marathon. I was so excited and nervous. My goal was to finish it in 3 hours or less. I think I have said before that I am not a runner by nature. At all. My brother in law, Ryan, was also running it with a friend of his. Ross got up at the crack of dawn with us (4:30 A.M.) to drive us (Ryan, his friend, me and Megan) to the race start. We got there about an hour before race time. It started right at 7. Ryan and his friend took off right away. Megan and I did a run/walk combo that went pretty well for the most part. The people along the route and at the aid stations were the best! They were cheering and carrying on. At about the half way point, I was pretty freaking hot and my asthma kept kicking in. I still was plugging along though. Ross and my mom met us at the bottom of the canyon, just before mile 10, to cheer us on. That was really cool. Just after 10 miles, I hit a wall. Mentally and physically. I literally could not run. I could barely walk. I do not know what was propelling me forward. I knew Megan's family was at the end waiting for her and I knew she still had it in her to run so I told her she could go. She wouldn't. She said we were in it together. She might have been one of the only reasons right then that I didn't stop and just cry. We walked for a long time. Probably a mile and a half. Anyway, we were on the final stretch and I told her I wanted to run the last little bit in. So we jogged to the end and over the finish line. The first people I saw were my mom and my sister and her kids. I ran over there and gave them high fives. They showed me where Ross and the boys were with my in-laws. I ran over and gave everyone hugs and totally started crying. I was so happy to see them, so happy to be finished. I realized that the only reason I had kept going was so Ross and my boys would think I was cool. I think they might have! Ross told me our time was 2 hours and 55 minutes! So we made our goal. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. But I felt so great about finishing. Ryan ran it in 1 hour and 54 minutes. I was so proud of him. Later that day, he brought me ice cream for doing it. That meant a lot since him and I don't connect a lot of the time. We went to dinner that night with him and Em and our families. I threw down on a steak.

In hindsight, as hard as it was, I would do it again. Only next time, I'll be faster.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

What an amazing thing it is to be a mother. I can't even begin to describe all the ways I think I screw it up. But then sometimes, too, I think I do ok. I have the 3 most awesome boys. They are always inspiring me to be better. I truly love them.

Today I have thought about my own mom a lot. Over the past couple of years I have come to realize that she really did the best she could. Our relationship wasn't always what I wanted it to be and sometimes it continues to be that way. However, I know she loves me and she has her own way of showing it. I have really come to appreciate those moments.

It makes me appreciate my Savior and the things he does for us. I am so grateful that I am here and that I have gotten to have children of my own. I know it is because of him. I pray that my boys will come to know Him as I have and that they will feel of his love for us.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms and all you future moms. It's a good life.

So today just happens to be one of the worst days of my life. It seems like not one thing has gone the way it is supposed to. My boys are not co-operating and I just can't seem to get in sync with Ross. One or more of the boys has woken me up every night this week so I am exhausted. Basically, I am just having a giant pity party. I just feel like crying.

You call this a sport?!?

One of my best friends in the whole world recently inspired me to enter a half marathon with her. We have been training for about 2 months now. I am not, by nature, a runner. I am wicked slow. That being said, last night I ran 6 miles in an hour and ten minutes. My average was about an 11 minute mile although I ran the first mile in 10 minutes. Comparitively, I am slow but this is a huge accomplishment for me. It has been a goal of mine for a while to run a marathon. There are moments that are discouraging but I know with every step I take, I am getting closer to my goal. The further I go, the more I realize that it's a reality for me. It is something hard that I think I can do. What a cool feeling it is to know that if you work at it, you can do anything. The sky, er the horizon in this case, is the limit!

I want to thank my husband for the pillar of strength that he is to me. I probably would have given up a long time ago if not for him.

Biggest Fears

So obviously my first and foremost fear would be if something happened to Ross and/or the boys. That is always there. But I have been thinking about it for the last couple of days and realizing a few of my other fears. I think the overall fear in my heart and mind that dominates my motivation is this: being ordinary. I don't want to be ordinary. I want to do great things and be great. I want to do things that are scary or hard for me because that is what helps me to see the strength that God has bestowed upon me.
I don't want to be just another person. I don't want to be someone that is easily replaced or forgotten. When I walk away I want to have put a pemanent mark on people's hearts. I want them to feel like they are someone and like I truly cared for them because I do. I don't want all this because I care so much about what other people think of me. I want it because I want to make a difference in the world. I want to inspire people to see the greatness in themselves.

The One, The Only

Well this is my first attempt at keeping somewhat of a journal. I am not very good at keeping records. It bores me! Well sometimes. It's always fun to go back and look at my by gone days.

I am Kelly. I am a 33 year old wife, mother and friend extraordinaire! Hopefully, anyway. My life's goals are to run a marathon, serve a mission (or 2 or 3) with my husband, make wonderful memories with my boys and experience everything that scares the heck out of me! I am an adrenaline junkie. I am scared of most things but I have the firm belief that everytime you step through your fears, there is an amazing transformation in yourself that takes place. Not that you are stronger but that you realize you had it in you the whole time.

My desire for this blog is that maybe I will learn a little about myself. Or maybe I can inspire someone else to do something great. Time will tell!