Tuesday, May 29, 2012

When your body talks, listen

This is great. My friend Paige sent this to me a while back.


WHEN YOUR BODY TALKS, LISTEN
My body woke me up when the sky was still dark and my house was quiet.
Take me for a walk?
It asked.
I shuffled about in the shadows of my house putting on shoes, finding a shirt, throwing on a jacket, pulling up my hair.
Outside was spring-like, not the bone-chilling reception we've had these past few months.
The birds were up too, perched high in the bare trees, chatty, noisy little things.
I walked and walked, talked myself into climbing up an inclined street until I reached the top and looked out onto my still, frosted town. The red-roofed library, the stacked Kimball tower, the dark sky-scraping Nu Skin building, the white rounded temple, all in my view. I stopped and listened to the drumming of heartbeats in my ears.
That's when my body started talking to me.
You've got to trust me.
It told me.
When I am hungry, I will tell you.
You'll hear it in chambered echoes, grumbles and moans.
DON'T FEED ME until you hear my call.
When I am lonely, I will tell you.
A lump will well up in your throat, like you've swallowed cotton, and tears will form in your eyes.
DON'T FEED ME. Try making a connection with the fine collection of friends you love.
When I am anxious, I will tell you.
Your heart will beat fast, your breath will struggle to leave the lungs and you might feel full of fire.
DON'T FEED ME. Instead, sit down and fight for those breaths. Let the oxygen pour into you — clearing the veins and vessels. Close your eyes. Identify the fear that is squeezing you.
When I feel depressed, I will tell you.
There will be a significant lack of energy, a slumpy reaction to bed-leaving. My mind will slow down and thoughts will become like black puffy clouds.
DON'T FEED ME. Instead, fill your head back up with new thoughts, ideas from books and discussions. Replace the dirty fuel in your mind with clean energy.
When I feel stressed, I will tell you.
Like rubber bands squeezing around your cranium, your head throbbing, your stomach turning, your muscles tightening.
DON'T FEED ME. Instead, write it all out, everything you are feeling. Look over the list and examine.
When I feel sick, I will tell you.
Fevers, aches, pains and physical discomfort.
DON'T FEED ME. Take care of me, bathe me, give me lots of water and put me to bed.
When I feel happy, I will tell you.
Goose bumps infiltrate your skin, you will feel light and airy, propped up on energy, buzzing in your blood.
DON'T FEED ME. Use the excess vivacity to spread your sentiments to someone else.
When I need exercise, I will tell you.
Your legs will ache to be walked, your back will beg to be stretched, your heart will ask to be throbbed.
DON'T FEED ME. Walk me. And don't exercise me until I say so, please, or we will battle.
When I feel lazy, content, competitive, peaceful, overwhelmed, snippy, snappy, hot, cold, tired, frustrated, thirsty, full, beaming and bright, I will tell you.
DON'T FEED ME. None of these sentiments require food. Excess surplus will have to be stored. I will have to make more of us — human shelves in rolls and lumps — to organize the overflow intake. Don't make me do that, please. There are babies to feed, children to squeeze, a husband to kiss. Right now, we don't have a lot of steam to become a storage facility as well.
But when I feel hungry, I will send you a message of emptiness of stomach, dizziness of head, a sensation in your mouth extending into your throat that reads, I NEED FOOD. PLEASE DON'T STARVE ME.
Then, feed me.


C. Jane Kendrick is creator of the award-winning blog cjanerun.com. She lives in Provo with her husband and three children. She likes waffles, burritos and vacuuming. Always vacuuming. CONTACT: fb C. Jane Kendrick, twitter C.JaneKendrick

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Priesthood Session


General Conference was this last weekend. Corbin is not quite 12 but he will be in 3 weeks so it was his turn to join the family tradition of the men gathering at temple square for priesthood session. In true Corbin fashion, he was worried about me being all alone :) He had such a good time and I think he was excited to be a big kid. As well as Ross and my boys, my dad has become a part of this tradition too.
I think the above picture is proof that one righteous man can make a huge difference in the life of his family, and mine. Thank you Dixon for being that man.

Ask and You Shall Receive

I admit that I am a over protective mother. I want to know where my kids are, who they are with and what they will be doing. It's really not because I want to control them, it's just that well, they are my kids. I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to one of them.

Never-the-less, I know that there comes a time in life when you kind of need to cut the apron strings and let them fly. I have prayed many times to Heavenly Father that I would know when that time comes and that I would have the ability to do it.
Last night, I was laying by Tyson before bed. We were just talking. He is a pretty private kid. He doesn't often share things that are close to his heart. Out of the blue he started sharing. I was so happy that I took the opportunity to listen. Closely. I won't tell you everything but the gist of it is that I knew it was time. The spirit whispered it to me. It's time for Ty to fly.
I know that he will always need me but it's ok for him to become the man he is supposed to be. I can let go as much as he needs me to. But I just want to say that, dangit, it's hard.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Awake

I have been asleep for 4 months. Almost to the day. There are trials, that each of us have, that make us go into sleep mode I think. Where we are exerting just enough energy to exist and make it to the next day. Until something makes us realize there's more that we are missing and if we come out of our stupor, it will be worth it.

I didn't realize until a couple of weeks ago that I had been in sleep mode. Sometimes it's what you have to do to deal with whatever you are facing. I decided that 4 months was too much time to lose. I fervently asked Heavenly Father to re-awaken my spirit so I can be productive and live this happy life that I want to be in.
He answered my prayer. And I am present. And thankful. :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Friendship

I think about what friendship means quite often. I put a lot of time and effort into being a good friend. I have to admit though, that I have not been a very good friend to everyone lately.

This last year was a hard one for me and my family on a lot of different levels. I have struggled with feelings of being lost. I am not sure exactly my path right now or where I fit. It's funny when you are struggling, who reveals theirself(?) as a true friend. I have those people in my life that I know will be there no matter what. I have also had a few surprises. Like people that I didn't expect showing up for me and like people that I thought for sure would, who didn't.
I got the opportunity to go to dinner last night with 3 friends of mine that have been there through thick and thin, heaven and hell, no matter what. I always come away from those times being lifted up and inspired and so thankful for their presence in my life. They make me want to be a better wife, mom and person.
I know it's time to break out of this cocoon that I have put myself in and start reaching out again. I want to be the kind of friend that I have in Ross and those 3 girls.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

It's Official


There is officially another teenager in the house. What the?! How is this possible? Jaden is 13 today.

As you can see from the pic above, he is a lot like his mom in the fact that he cannot pull a straight face for the camera. Where's the fun in that?

I am constantly amazed by this kid. He has so much energy. He doesn't stop until his head hits the pillow at night and then there is no waking him. He gets really ticked if he sleeps past 8 am though. He thinks he is missing out on life.

Soccer, friends and the gospel are this kids life. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy birthday J-dog!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Experience of a Lifetime

I don't even know where to begin this post! The last weekend of my life was the craziest whirlwind you can imagine!
Last October, I ran the St. George marathon with my friend Jamie. You can read about it here.
Jamie's mom happened to read my post and she was very touched by the part about the little boy that handed me the popsicle. She also happens to be on the board of director's for America First Credit Union and decided to use my story in a training meeting. She wanted to talk about the boy with the popsicle and how we can all be that person who doesn't have to help people but do because we can.
I guess this story has been passed around quite a bit within America First. They have decided to make the green popsicle a sort of icon in their company this year and someone thought it would be great if they could get a production company to film a little movie about it that they can use within America First as a sort of motivational thing.
Jamie and I got a call from her mom on Wednesday. They wanted to fly Jamie and I to Las Vegas for the weekend. There was a marathon going on by Lake Mead and they thought it was the perfect opportunity to film this movie about us.
The stars somehow aligned and we were all on board. They paid all of our expenses; food, hotel, flight. It was quite an unreal trip. I am telling you that I could get used to the life of a movie star ;)
Saturday morning was spent filming Jamie and I re-creating my marathon experience. It was a total blast! We had a riot. There were tears from laughing so hard and tears from remembering. We will each get a copy of the finished product. I am excited/nervous to see it!
Who would have thought that a blog post could take me on such an unforgettable experience. Thank you to Linda Carver and America First for taking the best care of us and to Ross for hanging with our boys this weekend. I can't wait to tell my grandkids about this someday. :)