The other night I had the most amazing experience. I have to record it here because I don't want to forget.
For quite a while, I have really struggled with a certain person in my life. The ironic part about it is that they have no idea of the feelings I have had. They didn't necessarily do anything wrong. There is something that they have that I thought I wanted in my life so much. I have struggled with negative feelings towards this person.
I didn't want to have these feelings so I decided to try to serve them as best I could. I know that it is almost impossible to have bad feelings for someone while serving them.
For a few years, I stepped out of my comfort zone and have served them in so many ways. It wasn't working so I kept trying. I realized I was waiting for them to stop and tell me how wonderful they thought I was. It didn't happen. I was not doing things in the right frame of mind and my feelings for them were getting worse, not better.
I woke up in the middle of the night the other night thinking about them. I cried and cried. I didn't want to have these feelings of bitterness any more. I started to pray. I told my Heavenly Father that I had tried to do what I thought was right to get over it and I realized I couldn't do it by myself. I needed him to take it from me. I pictured myself putting all these feelings, worry and bitterness in a box. I closed it up tight and I pushed it toward the feet of my Savior. I pictured him taking it and walking away from me. I fell asleep praying for help.
The next morning I realized it was truly all gone. It has been days and days and it is still gone. I learned a lot from this experience. I learned that after all we can do, he makes up the difference. I learned that I can turn everything over to him. And most of all, I learned I already have everything I need. I no longer think that I require what is not mine.
I am so thankful.
